To the uninitiated, the world of watches must seem like a stuffy and uninspiring one. With endless talk of crowns, bezels and dials, and the minutiae of complications so often scrutinised in the finest detail, it’s easy to see how those who don’t have horological leanings may feel alienated and have the impression that industry insiders take themselves more than a smidgen too seriously.
However, scratch the surface of the watchmaking industry and you’ll discover a private subculture full of flirtation, titillation and more than enough intrigue to arouse even the biggest horological naysayer’s interest: the world of sensually beautiful watches.
They may not attract much publicity, but erotic timepieces have in fact been tickling the fancy of well-heeled watch connoisseurs for centuries. The earliest examples date back to the early 18th century, when the wives of Royal Navy officers would commission saucy self portraits to be engraved into the cases of their husbands’ pocket watches, providing not only a source of pleasure while he was on his travels, but also a reason to remember to come back.
“Erotica has been a very important part of watchmaking history from when we first started with pocket watches,” Chris Del Gatto, consultant to high-end jeweller and watchmaker Jacob & Co, said at the time the brand launched its Caligula erotic timepiece. “In the beginning, people would commission pocket watches with faces of their wives or lovers because often people were separated for months or years at a time.”
Jacob & Co is one of a number of high-end watchmakers to dabble in the erotic timepiece market. Described as “elegant and sober at first sight”, the Caligula watch features “a piquant secret” concealed underneath the rotating dial — which itself is adorned with guilloché in “a subtle allusion to fishnet stockings”. Rotate the bezel 180 degrees into the six o’clock position and an opening in the dial reveals an artfully painted scene by miniaturist artist André Martinez featuring an erotic ménage à trois, with the characters’ movement controlled by the piece’s secondary crown.
And don’t be fooled into thinking that saucy means cheap. The standard Caligula model is priced — somewhat fittingly — at $69,000 and was released in a limited run of — you guessed it — 69. The brand also has a unique piece, the Caligula Tourbillon Baguette, which is made from 18K white gold and encrusted with 381 triangle baguette diamonds (31.88 carats).
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As advancements in watchmaking technology and complications such as the minute repeater (perfect for animating, say, a repeated thrusting action…) were developed, the scope for more imaginative and creative erotic watches with higher elements of personalisation increased. What were once normal timepieces with saucy drawings concealed inside soon became animated scenes of debauchery, with wily watchmakers coming up with increasingly creative ways of titillating their clients — who were only too happy to hand over their cash for a timepiece produced in such a limited run or, even better, something entirely bespoke.
Among the most impressive (and most expensive) modern-day examples of erotic watches is Blancpain’s Le Brassus Erotic Minute Repeater Carrousel. Featuring an elegant white grand feu enamel dial with Roman numeral hour marks and an aperture to view the carrousel at the six o’clock position, from the front the timepiece looks like a classic Blancpain. Yet, hidden discreetly on the caseback is an exquisitely hand-engraved jacquemart of a classical-era musician in the throes of passion with his female partner, animated by the action of the minute repeater. Since this timepiece is almost always created on a bespoke basis according to the particular client’s needs, the price fluctuates depending on the commission, but it’s safe to assume that there will be very little change from Dh1.5 million
Another notable brand to embrace erotic horology is Ulysse Nardin, with its Hourstriker Erotica Jarretière. Certainly not a watch for the faint-hearted or mild-mannered, the erotic scene is shown front and centre on this piece, as its black onyx dial shows a young couple embracing on a chaise longue, with a pair of high heels and a garter — or jarretière — strewn on the ground below them. The handcrafted 18-karat gold jaquemarts are animated by the hour striking mechanism, which means every hour and half hour (and on demand when the pusher is pressed), the figures are thrust into amorous action, moving in time to the chimes.
While Blancpain’s and Ulysee Nardin’s creations fall on the side of explicit rather than the risqué, Richard Mille’s RM 69 Erotic Tourbillon is a somewhat subtler erotic timepiece, toeing the line in terms of R-rated material. A magnificent example of technical watchmaking, the piece features a mechanical movement comprising 505 components powering three titanium rollers inscribed with suggestive phrases, which display a random saucy message such as “I want to kiss you tonight”, “Let me caress you madly” and “I long to explore your lips” every time the wearer presses the button at the 10 o’clock position.
Even storied watchmaker Bovet 1822 got in on the erotic timepiece act this year, with its unique Secret Beauty watch, featuring a beautiful geisha — reminiscent of the geishas that have appeared on Bovet’s timepieces since the birth of the brand — hand-painted on the mother-of-pearl dial. Where this piece differs from the brand’s traditional offerings, however, is when the lights are turned off, a second LumiNova glow-in-the-dark painting is revealed, which shows the geisha completely naked as her gown disappears. Produced specifically for the 2017 edition of the Only Watch charity auction to support research into Duchenne muscular dystrophy.
So, the next time a watch cynic tells you horology is boring, point them in the direction of a bawdy Blancpain, risqué Richard Mille or sensual Bovet 1822 and watch their opinion change instantly.
ArtyA is a niche watchmaker with a reputation for far-out creations all called Son of something
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